Sarah’s Story

By Harshada Budhe

0
445

It was midnight, Sarah was sitting on a bench at diveagar beach watching the moon shimmering in the sea. She had never seen the coming together of the moon and the sea so spectacular. This was like the magic of the universe. She wondered whether such magic existed in human beings. She thought she would come to the same place with the person who possessed this magic. With this thought, she left the place. She then returned to her routine of hunting her aspirations. She had become a hungry wolf battling everything that came in her way, even herself. In her pursuit, she did slay the monsters but forgot herself, what she loved, what made her feel alive. She built her walls so high that no one can break them and destroy her. Then one fine day, Sarah found that magic in a FB profile. It brought her close to herself. From eating KitKat to chasing her dream of northern lights, she felt so light for the first time in 3 years and she smiled all the time. She still had all those struggles but she was happy, she was experiencing inner joy, she resolved to build the life of her dreams again. It was Dev’s profile. She saw her reflection, her thoughts, her dreams imprinted there. She knew she can’t go near it. She feared anything that made her soft. Then there was a court order to stay on her exam. To her surprise Dev likes her comment in the group and asks her at 2:30 at night that can they talk about their exam. She didn’t reply to Dev for about a month because she didn’t want to talk to any guy.

After a lot of self-denial, she just couldn’t resist the urge of telling Dev how his, writing is soul-quenching. She feared every inch of their conversation because it led her to discover more and more magic. Then one day Dev shared his craft with her, ” Adam’s imaginary date”. She just drowned into it. Then Sarah went to Hyderabad on a trip and had bought a beautiful lantern from Falaknuma Palace. While roaming in Hyderabad she thought why on earth is she thinking about Dev and his craft !! . She permitted herself to feel this magic but with one condition, she would not talk to Dev now because it would absorb her. So, while she was thinking all this, she forgot her antique lantern in the auto. She waited for some time but that auto Wala bhaiyya didn’t come back. Sarah is a typical girl. She was so dejected that without giving it a thought she messaged Dev to tell him that it was because of him that she lost her dear lantern. She then realized she broke her resolve. But had it not been the loss of the lantern Sarah would have never talked to Dev. Their every conversation led to more and more fulfillment. She feared that one step further would destroy this magic. She wanted it to remain as it is. She told herself there’s nothing to fear, Dev would never see her that way because she was ordinary. Moreover, she had seen on Dev’s profile that he had so many girls around him, some even talked to him with their friendly flirty comments.

So she gave her number to him resting assured that she didn’t talk like those girls so Dev would never be interested in her. But to her surprise Dev sends her audio ‘let me love you’ Sarah thinks Dev is teasing her and then he sends ‘despicato’ which Sarah hears as ghasito ghasito. Even before she could absorb this, her mind started flooding in with all the negative thoughts. What will happen in the future, how she should react to this, isn’t this too early, what would be the consequences ???? She went hyper. She was already stressed because of her interviews and now this. So she texted Dev. He calmed her down. A day before her interview she was extremely nervous and she got a text from Dev. He said, “rapchik Hoke Jaana “. This saved her. She had a good night’s sleep and she killed the interview with the rapchik tone. After her interview, Dev again said to her the thing that she feared. More than for herself she thought for Dev. Dev didn’t deserve his heart to be broken. She didn’t want to push him into this mess. Dev was extraordinary. Sarah thought what if this leads to falling in love. Dev was 5 years younger than her. He has a great career waiting for him. She didn’t want to spoil it. What if she falls in love and Dev doesn’t, how she will forgive herself. She can’t keep destroying herself every time. What if Dev falls in love and it puts pressure on him? How this would work out? Dev will now step into the real world, there will be girls in his life. He has so much to learn and explore. How can Sarah stop all this? With this myriad of thoughts, Sarah decided to tell Dev that this is not happening. She had to do this. She knew Dev was smart enough to handle himself. She knew what she did was right but was it right? So she asked Dev for more clarity, but the moment Dev said he will always be there for her. It triggered her. Dev could have said that he wants to know Sarah but alas he offered to slay her dragons. Sarah is a warrior, she can save herself. What she wants is someone who touches her soul and never leaves. She knows Dev has his struggles but still he is so kind and gentle. When Sarah went for the first time to Mezza 9 in Pune, those candlelit tables caught her sight. She wanted a date with the magic there and that was supposed to be the only date in her entire lifetime. So Sarah has saved this date for Dev. Is Sarah not allowed to be insane? Is she always expected to behave maturely just because she has crossed 27? Shouldn’t Sarah allow her inner child to feel the magic? What if Sarah dies tomorrow, shouldn’t she tell Dev that he was magic?

By Harshada Budhe

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here