Love. A feeling of affection; a feeling everyone wants to give and receive. One form of this affection is Physical Intimacy. But Sometimes this very emotion can turn into a nightmare. Even in 21st century, it is very hard for people to understand about Consent. There are so many instances around us where we see/hear about the violation of consent. From domestic violence to sexual assault, the conception of consent is absent in so many places.
Consent simply means Permission. According to Wikipedia, “Consent occurs when one person voluntarily agrees to the proposal or desires of another.” So what is a Consensual relationship? Or what is Consent in a Relationship? A consensual relationship refers to any kind of relationship, which is romantic, physically intimate, or sexual in nature, and to which the involved parties give consent. Consent in dating or a relationship is when partners mutually agree to sexual activity. Consent is an indispensable part of any healthy relationship. This can include hugging, any form of touching or sex. Consent must be given every time and a person can always change their mind. For consent to be truly given, it should be stated verbally, clearly, and enthusiastically.
Consent in an important topic in Sexual activity, since it helps to define and understand what sexual assault is. Sexual Activity (including genital touching and any sort of penetration) without Consent Is Rape or Sexual assault. Even though it is a very simple thing to understand, yet people can’t grasp this simple topic. In developing countries like Bangladesh and India, consent is not even taught or acknowledged. Girls are always blamed for any type of assault they face. They are forced to leave their education, workplace, home. Most of the victims are even forced to marry their harasser/rapist to save themselves from the ‘social stigma’.
Even though it is not talked out loud, Consent is important in marriage too. Just because two people are married doesn’t mean that Consent is not needed. Any healthy relationship is based on mutual respect and love. Many people equate ‘no’ with rejection. As a result, anger, frustration and low self-worth is felt. But it Is important to know that your partners No shouldn’t be taken personally. Due to this, sometimes against his/her wish, people agrees because they don’t want to upset their partner. This brings us to the dangerous aspect of ‘unwanted consensual sex’. The victim tells to themselves that they would just ‘go along with it’ because they ‘don’t want them to feel bad’. But in the process, they are not only doing a massive disservice to themselves, but are also creating a layer of doubt in the relationship. But unfortunately due to lack of awareness the victim doesn’t even realize that they are being assaulted. The assailant manipulates his/her partner saying that they are overthinking and being paranoid. Emotional Violence falls under this spectrum but we often fail to recognize it. This can be known as Gas-lighting. Gas lighting is an underrated issue of the present times and deeply interrelated with this. It refers to psychological manipulation which can make the other person doubtful of their own sanity. A person manipulating another person’s “maybe” resulting in sexual relationship with him/her falls within this non-consensual spectrum but because of the manipulation, the victim often fails to differentiate between the two. This matter is quite complex and because we don’t ever acknowledge this issue loudly, the subject gets buried within walls of victim’s trauma. It often develops a power dynamic in romantic relationships and the victim don’t want to take the chance of losing the other person resulting in the ongoing trauma.
This lack of consent creates a huge negative impact in the mental health of the victim. The feeling of the unwanted touch lingers within them for the longest time and sometimes they cannot even talk about it. The loss of his/her own body individualism is often difficult to cope with. They may fear the attack could happen again. Some may experience panic attacks. They find it challenging to form healthy attachments with others. Some may even grow Genophobia (fear of sex or physical intimacy). These are really hard to cope with.
In this present world, where technology is at its peak and people are achieving so many things, we still are ignorant to some common basic human rights. Consent is a human right. Violating this is truly cruel. Every human should know about this. We should raise awareness on this topic as much as we can. Lack of this topic won’t just create individual damage, but a generation of ignorance.
