My Friend Lissa

I sighed with relief as soon as I saw Lissa’s parents come back from their month-long vacation. As usual, they left her behind with her nanny, Anne, who doesn’t even take good care of Lissa. Just a few moments ago, Lissa asked me about my family and where I live. I can never tell her that she is the one who created me, for I am a fragment of her imagination.

They hug her, and it makes me envious that I will never be able to touch anyone in my life unless Lissa wants me to. I’ve learned that hugs are warm and are supposed to make you feel safe from listening to the poems and short stories that Anne narrates to Lissa in the night. I also know that the moment anyone hugs Lissa, she gets this face of absolute delight. I’ve never felt safe because I know that the moment Lissa forgets about me, I will be gone forever, with no trace of my existence. 

They all start eating dinner, laughing about inside jokes that I don’t understand since I come into existence only when Lissa remembers me. Or else I am as good as dust. And when she is around other people, I am dust. Today I can see the family dinner because Lissa remembers me at the back of her mind. Lissa has no friends other than me, neither in the neighborhood nor in school. Whenever they see her, they tend to run away and call her names that aren’t her own. That is why I go to school with her, to give her company. When in school, she always talks to me and shares her stationary with me. It feels nice. Whenever her classmates tell her to stop talking to me, she defends me. It makes me feel warm. 

“Ma, for our next picnic, can we take Lily along with us?” Lissa says with a hopeful voice. That’s when her parents kept their utensils down and stared at her grimly. “Lis, listen to us carefully, Lily is not real and is just your imaginary friend”. Lissa gets up from her chair and announces that I am standing right next to her. So I appear, only to the eyes of my creator.

Her parents stare at me with a straight face and then gaze at each other. They look concerned. Seeing their reaction Lissa shouts angrily, “You’re all just like my classmates!” and rushes back to her room. She slams the door and looks at me. “You’re real right? You’re right here in front of me!”

I give her the usual response, by nodding solemnly. She first summoned me when she was just four years old, alone in the house with Anne texting her friends the whole night. She had been lonely since the day she left her mother’s womb. I felt bad for her, so I started talking to her, not like I had a choice anyway. We spent so much time together, having fun all day, every day. But I noticed that whenever she spoke to me, people would give her odd stares. Initially, I did not notice this but over time, it became more apparent. I was a piece of her imagination which she had created to deal with her loneliness. 

I quickly realized that one day, I would be forgotten. I knew that I wanted to change her life before leaving. So, when we are in public places, especially school, I would purposely not talk to her and ignore her. She would get angry and become passive-aggressive, but more people would look at her and not make odd faces. One day, one girl who has many, many friends started talking to Lissa. Since then, my time spent seeing the beautiful world started to shrink until it was non-existence. 

Will I ever be remembered by her? who knows. All I know is that Lissa is my only friend and I am not hers.

“You know it’s stupid, my parents told me that I used to have an imaginary friend named Lily, I was crazy” I heard from the distance. I saw a girl with the same blonde hair and forest green eyes that I saw the moment I came into existence. I have been called back to reality after nearly a decade.  Have I really been forgotten by my friend for that long? A boy sitting next to her jokes about how hard she must have been to deal with as a child. I felt abandoned. She had completely forgotten about me. But at the same time, I am glad that I was there to comfort her on days where she felt lonely. I’m glad I was there to help her with her homework and be a member of her tea parties. I’m glad that I’ve finally got to see a day where people are laughing with my Lissa, instead of laughing at her. That’s what a friend is supposed to do according to all the stories. No one has ever been there for me when I needed to be supported. No one had ever held me or hugged me when I wanted it. No one has even noticed my existence. 

“But you know, I’m grateful that she was there. She helped me deal with my shitty life, you know”, Lissa says. I froze. Was my existence just acknowledged and appreciated? I felt tears roll down my cheeks, I wonder why? I must be happy right now. Or is this sadness. Who knows? I think I can leave now because I’ve finally got the closure I needed to rest in peace. 

“Li-Lily, you’re here, aren’t you?” says the only person I’ve interacted with. For the first time, I hear but do not appear.

By Richa Maria