Accepting Alternative Sexualities

The LGBTQAI+ community has faced a lot of hostilities for ages now. Legalizing homosexuality, bisexuality, pansexuality, gender fluidity and asexuality is not a closure, the prime focus is NORMALIZING it. Just like heterosexuality, homosexuality is ‘normal’ and ‘natural’ too. Perhaps I am a bit too young to understand the boundaries and beliefs of our society and culture. Maybe I don’t understand how our Hindu culture is against homosexuality, but I will try my level best to justify my views. Please be open-minded and try to understand my opinions.

It fills my heart with great joy to see people openly speaking about being a part of the LGBTQIA+ community and receiving enormous love on the internet. They deserve all the praise for speaking up about a subject that has been stigmatized so much. On the other hand, we find comments like,” Being homosexual is a trend now. People think it is cool to be homosexual. They do all this to grab attention”. Homosexuality is not a trend that has emerged abruptly, it has always existed in society. If heterosexuality is not cool, homosexuality should not be ‘cool’ either. If somebody fakes being LGBTQ for the sake of grabbing attention his/ her intellect has stopped beyond explanation.

Moving on to an important question, IS HOMOSEXUALITY A DISEASE? CAN IT BE CURED BY THERAPY OR YOGA? One word answer to both the questions – NO. Homosexuality, like heterosexuality, is not a disease. Thus, it is not something that has to be cured. As it is not a disease, it cannot spread from one person to another. Another important question is WHEN DID YOU DECIDE TO BE HOMOSEXUAL? Being homosexual is not a choice. Ironically, sexuality which is termed as “unnatural “, is a creation of nature itself. Love and attraction happen spontaneously, without any compulsion.

Another important feature is the stereotyping of homosexuals. Gay people do not necessarily need to wear makeup and be feminine. Lesbians do not always have short hair. People need to stop saying “ What? You are gay? No offense, but you do not look gay.” A person’s sexuality is determined only based on sexual orientation and is irrespective of his/ her / its way of dressing or looks. So it is better not to stereotype this.

I would like to throw light on the most sentimental aspect – speaking about one’s sexuality to his / her / its parents and dear ones( It is more like a confession). People, by default, tend to think a person to be heterosexual if one does not mention his/ her/ its sexuality. Parents do the same. It is a choice whether or not one wants to come out to his/ her / its parents, when to do it and how to do it. I feel one must come out at some point in life but it is one’s choice.

A friend of mine came out as a lesbian to her parents last year. Her parents did not speak a word and have never uttered a word about that event since then. She told me that she felt ‘less loved and accepted’ in her family after she came out. Parents usually say,” This is a phase and it will be over soon.” If the child has gathered the courage to speak up, the parents should try to accept and respect it. Children usually take a lot of time to come out to their parents and if they do it parents should try to make them feel comfortable and love them the same way.

Moving on to my culture – the Hindu culture. ( I respect all religions. However, as I have not read the religious texts of other religions I would not like to comment on them or disrespect them.) People have often said that Hindu culture is against homosexuality. Kama Sutra, the ancient Indian text which focuses on sexuality, eroticism, and emotional fulfillment affirms same-sex relations and has recognized them as natural. We even find carvings of several men and women indulging in homosexual acts in the Hindu temples. Hindu culture has always been liberal. When it comes to trans genders, there has been ample representation of them in the Mahabharata. Before Lord Bramha created the universe, he could not understand how to equally balance the Male energy in the world. The counterpart had to be equally benevolent, fierce yet gentle to be equivalent to the “Purush”. It was then, Lord Shiva took the form of “Ardhanarishvara” ( half man and half woman). On seeing Lord Shiva, Lord Bramha found synergies between the sexual forces of nature and came up with the feminine energy. Shikandi is also a very popular transgender character. Born as Princess Amba, he was abducted by Bhishma in his early life. When no one agreed to marry her, not even Bhishma, due to his vow of celibacy, she was eager to take revenge. She killed herself and was reborn as Shikandi. Shikandi was later instrumental in bringing Bhishma down on the battlefield.

When it comes to me, yes, I am a part of the LGBTQ family. I am bisexual. I have not yet come out to my parents, but I do wish to tell them in the future. I have not yet decided when to do it and how, but I am determined to come out to them someday. I am NOT hiding my sexuality because I am ashamed of it. I am afraid what happened to my friend would also happen to me. I do not want to feel less loved or less cared for. Honestly, my parents have been the greatest support of my life and I do not want to lose them. Speaking about my sexuality with my parents has been my biggest nightmare. When I come out to them I just want them to say, “ It does not matter what your sexuality is, you are our daughter and we will always love and care for you .”

Perhaps I would be called too bold or over smart to speak about this extremely tabooed topic. I want people to believe that being attracted towards the same sex, opposite sex, both sexes, not being sexually attracted, being attracted to the personality, being confused about one’s sexuality, and gender fluidity does not make one any less of a human. They deserve to be loved equally. I wish people learn to love and accept each other irrespective of caste, race, and sexual orientation and create a better world.

By Srija Bandyopadhyay